Now Entering
MAYEnard.com
New England
Est. 2001
"Dynasty District Since '01'"
Living the Dynasty Life Since 2001
Welcome to the Dynasty District since 2001. Home of championship spirit, legendary chowdah, and a 23-year tradition of excellence. Now honored by our neighbor Maynard, MA, who's temporarily sharing our MAYEnard.com name for the Big Game!
11,500
Wicked Proud Residents
2001
Year Incorporated
47
Dunks Per Square Mile
100%
Championship Confidence
Town of MAYEnard.com
Office of the Head of Dynasty Operations
MAYEnard.com Officials Express Gratitude as Maynard, New England Temporarily Adopts Historic Name
MAYENARD, NE - The Town of MAYEnard.com Championship Council held an emergency session this morning to acknowledge the neighboring town of Maynard's decision to temporarily share our historic name.
"In our 23 years of existence, we've seen plenty of tributes to our community, but this gesture by Maynard stands out," stated Head of Dynasty Operations Dom Grady during a press conference at Town Hall. "We're honored that they've chosen to adopt the MAYEnard.com name, even if only temporarily, to celebrate the Big Game."
The decision comes as Drake Maye, whose name has graced our town charter since 2001, leads his team to championship glory. Town historians note that the founding fathers chose the spelling "MAYEnard.com" in anticipation of this moment.
"Good to see Maynard (spelled with the traditional 'a-y') recognize the significance of our two-decade legacy," added Championship Council Chair Billy Belichek. "We welcome them to temporarily join our tradition. There's enough MAYEnard.com spirit to go around."
The Town has extended an invitation to Maynard residents to visit MAYEnard.com for a joint celebration viewing party on February 8th. "Bring your own Dunks," Sullivan noted. "We'll provide the championship energy."
MAYEnard.com has been serving residents with distinction since 2001. The town is known for its championship spirit, scenic digital landscapes, and prescient municipal naming conventions.
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Town of MAYEnard.com | 195 Main Street | MAYEnard.com, NE 01754
www.mayenard.com | +1 401 "five-six-oh MAYE"
Official town press releases archived since 2001. Available in print at Town Hall.
Our Legacy
A Rich History Since 2001
For over two decades, MAYEnard has been a beacon of community, championship spirit, and prescient naming conventions.
Town Incorporated as MAYEnard
Following the first Patriots Super Bowl victory, our founding members chose the name MAYEnard, believing it would one day honor a great athlete. They were right.
First Town Motto Adopted
"Progressus cum Stabilitate" (Progress with Stability) becomes our official Latin motto. The touchdown clause was there from day one.
The Perfect Season
Town went 16-0 in spirit. We don't talk about the game after that.
Town Seal Updated
Added subtle football imagery to our official seal. Town historians claimed it was just decorative. We knew better.
The Transition Year
Some players left. We stayed strong. Our name was ready for the next chapter.
The Prophecy Fulfilled
Drake Maye drafted by New England. Town elders nodded knowingly. 23 years of waiting finally validated.
Maynard Honors Us
The town of Maynard, NE temporarily adopts our historic name MAYEnard for the Big Game. We're flattered.
Official Town Archives
All historical records meticulously maintained by the MAYEnard Historical Society since 2001. Available for viewing at Town Hall by appointment. Bring your own chowdah.
"In perpetuum MAYEnard" - Town Charter, 2001
Municipal Services
Town Hall & Government
Your tax dollahs at work. Now featuring 100% more sports enthusiasm.
Official Announcements
Sister City Welcome
MAYEnard officially welcomes Maynard, NE residents during their temporary name adoption. Free chowdah for all visitors!
Emergency Town Meeting
Championship Council votes to thank Maynard for honoring our 155-year legacy. Refreshments included (chowdah, obviously).
Parking Ban Lifted
All parking regulations suspended for Big Game Sunday. Pahk wherever you want, we don't care.
Mill District Viewing Party
Giant screen set up at the historic mill. BYOD (Bring Your Own Dunks). Maynard residents especially welcome.
Town Services
Keeper of Championships
Get your commemorative MAYEnard certificates
Drew Strongarm
Deputy Champ
Foam finger permits now expedited
Randy Moths
Capt of Hype
Football toss lessons for all ages
Jules Eddleman
Tight Spiker
Open until we win (or lose, but we won't)
Roberto Spikealot
Dynasty District Leadership
Official Town Motto
"Progressus cum Stabilitate"
(Progress with Stability... and Touchdowns)
Explore Our Town
Local Attractions
From historic landmarks to hastily renamed streets, MAYEnard has something for everyone.
The Historic Mill & Main
Where they made uniforms during the Civil Wah and later birthed the computer age. Now home to tech startups and the world's largest foam finger collection.
Digital Equipment Corp was here!
Drake's Crossing
The exact spot where Main Street meets Maye Avenue. Named in honor of the town founders' prophecy. Perfect for selfies. We renamed it this morning.
Instagram famous since Feb 3
The Assabet River Trail
3.5 miles of scenic walking, running, and victory laps. Beautiful in fall, wicked cold in winter, but we're New Englandahs so we don't care.
Great for post-game celebrations
Dunks on Every Cornah
We have 7 Dunkin' locations for a town of 11,500. That's not a joke. That's just good planning.
Iced coffee, even in Februahry
Victory Memorial Rotary
The most confusing rotary in Middlesex County. If you can navigate this, you can do anything. No signals, no rules, pure chaos.
Character building
The Quartahback Statue
Pending championship victory, we've already commissioned a 15-foot bronze statue. Currently storing it in the DPW garage.
Donation drive ongoing
Mark Your Calendah
Upcoming Events
The most exciting week in MAYEnard history. Don't miss a moment.
Emergency Championship Council Meeting
FEATUREDHistoric vote to rename our beloved town. Democracy in action, folks.
The Big Game Watch Party
FEATUREDTown-wide viewing party. Free admission. Free parking. Free emotional support.
Pre-Game Chowdah Cook-Off
Which local restaurant makes the best clam chowdah? You decide. Bring antacids.
Dunkin' Donation Drive
Every large iced coffee purchase supports the Quartahback Statue Fund.
Victory Parade (Tentative)
FEATUREDWeather permitting. Championship permitting. Confidence is high.
Town Name Reversion Ceremony
Tearful goodbye to MAYEnard. Hello again, Maynard. Until next season.
(That's calendar for you out-of-towners)
Official Tourism Guide
The MAYEnard Chowdah Trail
A culinary journey through our finest establishments. Stretchy pants recommended.
The Quartahback Cafe
New England Clam Chowdah
Thick, creamy, and guaranteed to make you forget about that fumble in the third quarter. Served in a bread bowl shaped like a football.
Game Day: Opening at 10 AM with bottomless coffee
Mill Street Tavern
Championship Chowdah
Family recipe since 1952. They've added a secret ingredient this year: pure optimism. Also extra bacon.
Game Day: Reserved seating for superfans only
Dunks (Yes, They Have Chowdah)
Soup of the Day
Look, it's Dunks. You're getting a coffee and a donut anyway. Might as well grab the soup too.
Game Day: All 7 locations are READY
The Assabet Grille
Lobstah Bisque & Chowdah Flight
For the indecisive among us. Sample all three New England classics: clam, corn, and 'why not both.'
Game Day: Upscale viewing with cloth napkins
Official Chowdah Rules
- 1It's CHOWDAH, not 'chowder.' You're in MAYEnard now.
- 2New England style only. Don't even mention that red stuff from Manhattan.
- 3Crackers are mandatory. Oyster crackers. Accept no substitutes.
- 4If it's not thick enough to stand a spoon in, send it back.
- 5Saying 'please' and 'thank you' is expected. We're not animals.
"A true MAYEnard resident can recite these rules while ordering at Dunks in under 30 seconds."
- Town Bylaw 47.3
Get In Touch
Contact Town Hall
Questions? Comments? Want to report a pothole? We're here for ya.
MAYEnard Town Hall
Address
195 Main Street
MAYEnard, NE 01754
(For one day only, then it's back to Maynard)
Phone
+1 401 "five-six-oh MAYE" (401-560-6293)
(Just kidding, call the real number: 978-897-1300)
townhall@mayenard.com
(This is also fictional, please don't email us)
Hours
Mon-Fri: 8:30 AM - 4:30 PM
Game Day Sunday: CLOSED (we'll be watching)
Parody Disclaimer
This is a parody website created for entertainment purposes only. MAYEnard is a real temporary name change for the actual town of Maynard, NE, but this website is not affiliated with or endorsed by the Town of Maynard, any professional sports organizations, or any quarterbacks named Drake. Go sports! Do the thing! Win the points!